How I Beat One of The Residents at His Own Game

Jay Clem: What’s truly amazing about all of this Sid is that some guy who’s been a fan for 25 years beat The Residents’ own Stu Sucliffe at his own game.

Sid Powell (of RAO Studios, Houston): That may indeed be a wonderment, Mr. Clem. But what I really want to know is who really cares who’s hands this infantile garbage ends up in?

Jay Clem: Well, Sid, it may not much matter to a crusty old fart like you, but there are in fact hundreds of die hard fans out there who would pay top dollar to get their hands on these recordings. Why, the very essence of the Residents legend rests on the mystery surrounding these works.

Sid Powell (of RAO Studios, Houston): Well, then, Mr. Clem, if these artistic endeavors are indeed so important to your charges, The Residents, then why is it that a fan unbeknownst to them has managed to execute a classic switch and offer up to one of their former number that which is so devoutly regarded as sacred and kept out of reach of their fans?

Jay Clem: It just goes to show that the Residents’ fans are in fact a force to be reckoned with, and that even the Residents themselves hold them in such high esteem specifically because of their power to unveil The Residents deepest secrets. Which is why Mr. Sirois of the Frozen North has agreed to do no less than urge his erstwhile bandmates to invite the good Mr. Burdick to participate in some meaningful way in the soon to be announced tour of the Animal Lover CD to be released imminently.

Sid Powell (of RAO Studios, Houston): And perhaps even to take the place of that abominably bad singer once he decided it’s finally time to hang up his skull and get a real job?

Jay Clem: Well, Sid, I didn’t say yes, but I most certainly didn’t say no…